1. Don't put drugs in women's drinks.
2. When you see a woman walking by herself, leave her alone.
3. If you pull over to help a woman whose car has broken down, please remember not to rape her.
4. If you are in an elevator and a woman gets in, don't rape her.
5. When you encounter a woman who is asleep, the safest course of action is to not rape her.
6. Never creep into a woman's house through an unlocked door or window, or spring out at her from between parked cars, or rape her.
7. Remember, people go to the laundry room to do their laundry. Do not attempt to molest anyone who is alone in the laundry room.
8. Use the buddy system! If it is inconvenient for you to stop yourself from raping women, ask a trusted friend to accompany you at all times.
9. Carry a rape whistle. If you find you are about to rape someone, blow the whistle until someone comes to stop you.
10. Don't forget-- honesty is the best policy. When asking a woman out on a date, don't pretend you are interested in her as a person; tell her straight up that you expect to be raping her later. If you don't communicate your intentions, the woman may take it as a sign that you do not plan to rape her.
I love this list. It wasn't until reading it for the first time that I realised how often I read "rape prevention tips" that advise women (only women, mind) to use the buddy system, not dress "provocatively," and never leave a drink unattended. While I recognise the sad reality of the situation-- and will continue using the buddy system and guarding my drink like a crown jewel-- I think it's worth pointing out that the best "rape prevention techniques" should probably be practiced by, you know, the people who might decide to rape someone. The way we advertise women's safety right now just makes it sound like... well, if you were raped, it's kinda your own damn fault.
Which it's not.
It never is.